hey thanks for hitting the nail on the head!! thoughts that sound a lot like this essay have been bouncing around in my head on repeat for who knows how long. I can't stand being burdensome, but I desperately want the people who I care about to reach out to me for help. make it make sense!!
Thank you for reading! I still pause before asking for help & support even though I love it when my friends ask for my help & support. So I feel you! It’s not easy & it feels SO vulnerable!
I've not finished reading this post just yet but had to pause to write this; I feel as though my thoughts are being reflected back at me in your words. I giggled to myself at how relatable I find your words. As I giggled, I thought to myself, jeez did I write this?
THIS:
**** I spent my 20s trying to self-help my way out of trauma. Which, to no one’s surprise (except maybe mine), DID NOT WORK. I was attempting to solve a relational problem with a highly individualistic solution, to address a somatic/nervous system situation through an almost purely cognitive approach. Turns out, you can’t mind-over-matter your way out of attachment wounding or positive-think your way through complex trauma.***********
I have tried these methods for YEARS. Hence my giggle. I was supposed to stumble across your writing today, I just know it.
-anyway I need to continue reading now 🥰 but thank you, already!
A burden is only a burden when it starts impacting our overall well-being or of those around us. Lending a helping hand or having a friend lean on us during tough times should be expected and we should be glad to be of service. A beautiful article!
Yes yes yes! Driving friends to the airport or returning their Tupperware or walking them home or answering their calls is a burden! And that beautiful burden is what life is all about! Loved this :) thank you for sharing and caring
i feel this all so deeply, from the soul crushing society we are surviving, the craving and appreciation for community, and appreciating the energy we share and pass to one another through friendship
Burden me all day long and ill burden you right back
DEAL
Damn 🫶
hey thanks for hitting the nail on the head!! thoughts that sound a lot like this essay have been bouncing around in my head on repeat for who knows how long. I can't stand being burdensome, but I desperately want the people who I care about to reach out to me for help. make it make sense!!
Thank you for reading! I still pause before asking for help & support even though I love it when my friends ask for my help & support. So I feel you! It’s not easy & it feels SO vulnerable!
I've not finished reading this post just yet but had to pause to write this; I feel as though my thoughts are being reflected back at me in your words. I giggled to myself at how relatable I find your words. As I giggled, I thought to myself, jeez did I write this?
THIS:
**** I spent my 20s trying to self-help my way out of trauma. Which, to no one’s surprise (except maybe mine), DID NOT WORK. I was attempting to solve a relational problem with a highly individualistic solution, to address a somatic/nervous system situation through an almost purely cognitive approach. Turns out, you can’t mind-over-matter your way out of attachment wounding or positive-think your way through complex trauma.***********
I have tried these methods for YEARS. Hence my giggle. I was supposed to stumble across your writing today, I just know it.
-anyway I need to continue reading now 🥰 but thank you, already!
I’m so glad it was relatable!! Thank you for reading & for sharing!
A burden is only a burden when it starts impacting our overall well-being or of those around us. Lending a helping hand or having a friend lean on us during tough times should be expected and we should be glad to be of service. A beautiful article!
Completely agree! Thank you so much for reading! 🙏
Yes yes yes! Driving friends to the airport or returning their Tupperware or walking them home or answering their calls is a burden! And that beautiful burden is what life is all about! Loved this :) thank you for sharing and caring
Thank you for reading! I'm so glad it resonated!
How funny! I wrote something very similar recently https://open.substack.com/pub/shriekingcactus/p/say-it-with-me-its-ok-to-be-a-burden?r=1zwm0&utm_medium=ios
And congrats on doing the work in your 20s… life got really hard for me in my 30s and shit it was bad.
I love that! I'm off to read it now! :)
beautiful, more friendships like this please!
i feel this all so deeply, from the soul crushing society we are surviving, the craving and appreciation for community, and appreciating the energy we share and pass to one another through friendship
also stunning artwork